Overcoming The Heaviness Of A Step In The Wrong Direction

My head feels heavy AF.

The last few days, I’ve been all up in blogging this and that. Listening to countless of videos on YouTube talking about blogging, reading about blogging, and doing blogging.

I have to admit, there are moments in which I feel like I’m doing good.

Other times, I feel like what I’m putting out is absolute crap.

Great Content

Am I the only one tired of this term??

Bad question.

I know we all are. If you say you’re not, I bet you’re lying, or you’ve been living under a rock, or you’re a very patient person.

I’m not. Well, that depends on how you see it.

In a way, I suppose it’s patient that I’ve managed to stay in a long distance relationship for over two years without an IRL meeting, but in the main way, I’m the most impatient person in the world (slight exaggeration).

Find a NICHE

A niche = a specific topic that the blog is all about.

What?????

I mean, seriously — I can’t pull off being interested in one single topic for three days straight. And I’m supposed to do it for, what, years? Before I see “success”.

I don’t know about you, but that isn’t success to me. Ok, maybe it is, but success to me means being able to talk about what I want in my blog, and I always want different things.

The reason why I’m so fed up with the niche style right now, is because my head feels so heavy after trying to write what I thought this blog could be about.

I wanted to write about pregnancy and family life related things. A mom blog, or lifestyle blog. And I still will, but trying to do that for even two days straight made me fed up with pregnancy, and I physically can’t do something that I don’t feel in that moment.

It’s one of the biggest problems in my life, this constant trying to stay on one track.

In the end, I think the only thing I’ve managed to stay on track with is my relationship. Literally nothing else.

Am I Lazy?

No, it’s not laziness. Anyone who knows me can attest to that.

What it is, is… I don’t know.

I thought for a while that I may have borderline personality disorder, because of how fragmented I am, but a few mental health professionals think that I’m on the autism spectrum (I feel like that should give me the ability to focus a lot on one topic, though?)

Well, whatever the reason, fact is fact. I’m not happy when I try to force myself to stick to one topic. It actually makes me depressed. And I did not start this blog to feel depressed.

Why this Blog?

I started it because, yes, I want to make money (I know it’s not easy, but I really want to be a house wife), but also because I want a place to chronicle my future family life. And I love writing.

I also have always wanted to create a community, so that’s one of the main reasons as well. My readers wouldn’t just be readers. We would have this nice community, and it would be great.

Sounding Adult and Professional

I just don’t know why I can’t do this.

I’m 25 years old and a Master’s Degree student, but I just can’t bring myself to communicate in an adult manner.

It just doesn’t feel like me, and it feels like I’m faking it.

So yes, I am aware of the fact that I’m sounding juvenile and like a teenager, and it does concern me that grown ups may not be able to relate to me, but at the same time, I can’t related to them.

Being Relatable

How can you be relatable to someone you can’t relate to?

How can you help someone with something they probably know more about, because they’ve been adults longer?

Not to mention, I rarely relate to people even my own age.

It’s easier with younger people, which is perhaps why my “husband” is 7 years younger than me and it feels completely normal.

Normies?

**sigh** Maybe I’ve been going about it the wrong way.

Maybe I shouldn’t focus so much on what normies do, and what the norm is, in general.

Everyone says this, but everyone does the same thing, and I’ve always had the feeling that I’m supposed to copy it, because what they’re doing is right and what I’m doing is wrong.

Screw that! Right?

I’ll just make this a blog for non-normies.

There are plenty of normie blogs out there, anyway.

Again, I don’t want to sound juvenile, buuut I probably do.

Conclusion

I’m not a normie person, and this is not a normie blog 😂

And I cluttered this post with scattered category ones from my “old” blog because I liked them and wanted them here to compensate for the tedious things I was trying to do for this blog.

Essentially, it’s supposed to be a family lifestyle blog, but my “husband” and I are in different countries, and we haven’t even met yet, so obviously there’s no family life to talk about, but I still want to chronicle the journey of getting there.

And I will succeed, but that means not listening to the advice that so many bloggers give: stick to one topic.

I’m just not a one topic person as much as I’m a one relationship person.

I’ll do it my way, like I always have.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s