The movies are right. All those twists and turns, drama… it’s all true.
Wait? Don’t all relationships have drama? You might think, and yes, they probably do, but when it comes to soulmate relationships, it has more to do with your internal transformation, and if there are external obstacles, they’re more likely to be magnified.
(Note: There is no scientific proof of this, so I’m purely speaking out of my own experience and observations.)
In the case of me and J, the emotional journey I was thrown into was no joke.
Feelings and emotions that I had suppressed for who knows how long, began to emerge, and they all but drowned me with their intensity. I often felt as if I was drowning, and it was scary.
Finally having a safe place where I could express all those emotions was also a hellish experience.
For a year, I kept feeling that I had to draw blood, that I needed to get something out of me.
It was intense, but after a while it turned for the better.
I felt like a person.
That sounds like a weird thing to say, because shouldn’t we all feel like that at all times?
Sadly, that’s just not the case.
In today’s world, it is so easy to not be a proper person, however bizarre that sounds.
We supress what we feel, overrationalize, close ourselves off from the world, and so much more that is bad for the soul…
To an extent, I still do that — I have to, to protect myself. We all have to protect ourselves.
But being in my soulmate relationship has significantly improved the way I feel about myself in the world.
Instead of feeling like something invisible that doesn’t count, I feel confident and happy, and wanting to contribute with something to the world — which I hope that I am doing with this blog post.
The experience is not the same for everyone.
Some people may not have a clue about what I’m talking about, with feeling or not feeling like a person — and that’s ok. Everyone are different, and some feel like people before meeting their soulmate.
What happened to me was, essentially, that I was thrown into a deep transformation into be a better version of yourself.
What I mean by that is, the version of me that I had always wanted to be, but never been able to on my own.
Just having him in my life did that, and that’s an amazing thing.
(I have to be honest; I have read articles like this in the past, and always thought they sound kinda dupey, but then it happened to me. So if you’re feeling that way about my article, I hear you.)
When we first met, it didn’t take too long until we knew that we wanted to meet and get married in real life, in spite of our unconventional age gap (7 years — then 23 and 16).
It has been almost 2.5 years since we made that decision, and we’ve never changed our opinion about it.
In the grand scheme of things, 2.5 years isn’t a long time, but during this relatively short period of time, I’ve been through an extensive emotional cleanse, complete with rebounds and crisis points.
I reached some of my lowest points, but when everything finally leveled out and stabilized, I felt stronger than every before, and much more capable.
It’s hard to explain how profound it feels, but it truly is the best thing that has happened to me, in spite of the difficult transition to the person I am now.
If I were to compare it to something, it would be a spike mat, or a super potent but bitter herb.
All of the above are super beneficial (for most people), but they are also a pain until you get used to them.
Have you ever tried standing on a spike mat? If your answer is yes, you probably know what I mean. If no, then be prepared if you decide to try — and enter a soulmate relationship with the same amount of preparedness.
The difficult thing about using a spike mat, for instance, isn’t the pain itself — it’s the emotions it brings up if you happen to have a lot of them pent up, which a lot of us do.
The same thing applies to a soulmate relationship.
If you have a lot of baggage that needs to be released, it will hurt.
But then, you will feel rejuvenated.
It’s not always perfect, of course. Life is still life. But if your experience is anything like mine, you will feel stronger and like a better person by tenfold.
My intention with this post is to give you hope, if you have given up just like I had. I want you to know that it will happen. I promise, because if it happened to me, it can happen to anyone.
If you have met your soulmate and have a different experience, please tell me in the comments. I would love to hear your story. And if you have questions, feel free to ask in the comments. If you have any questions about the male POV, I’ll make sure to convert my few wordy lover’s opinion to something that makes sense 😂