Hopelessness, Depression and Ginger Shots

Appropriate post soundtrack:

Some days are sh*t days.

Some days, your mom yells all day telling everyone they suck at everything they do.

Some days, you just want to go away. Far away. As far away as possible.

But you can’t, because life isn’t that simple. At least not yet.

The autumn leaves have turned red and yellow already. It was summer just now.

February will come in an instant, not every day will be like this.

Some days will be good, but some days will be just like today.

Some days you’ll sit with your earbuds jammed in your ears, turning the volume up enough not to hear anything but the sound of music.

You’ll wait for when he comes online, when your daily time together starts.

And you know that there are hours left, but you’re going to keep yourself together until then. Until everyone falls asleep.

Then you’ll relax. Only then will you let it all out.

You’ll fantasize about the better times that seem so far away right now, and they’ll seem closer.

No matter the hardships, you know that you have nothing to lose, because you can’t go back to where you came from.

No matter the hardships, you’ll overcome them together.

And one day, maybe you’ll grow up. Or not. It doesn’t really matter.

As long as you’re happy. And you will be. You are, just not today, not when she’s yelling about everything being wrong.

As soon as it’s safe, you’ll cry. But not in his arms, because he’s on the other side of the globe. You have to wait, but the comfort of his arms will be yours.

This downcast day prompted me to do something different, something I don’t usually do. So I went and bought citrus fruits, kiwi, ginger shots and kombucha. I also bought some frozen strawberries that I’ll boil into a hot mess later.

It’s just health stuff, nothing alcoholic. I don’t really drink, but I don’t necessarily not drink.

I relate so well to Bebe Rexha’s song. I still remember clearly the first time I heard it.

I was on the treadmill walking — “daily” exercise for mood control — listening to music. And then this song came up, and I was like: Wow.

I’m sure a lot of people can relate, because honestly — who isn’t a mess nowadays? Is it even possible not to be? If it is, tell me, but I want proof.

Blogging, or writing in general — freely — is actually pretty amazing.

I always write these nonsensical stuff, but feel so much better afterwards. It’s a great outlet.

So, now that I’m somewhat lifted up, I’ll go on and try to write something useful. I can do it.

I’ll write something useful that people will love and appreciate, while listening to “I’m a Mess” on loop. It’s gonna be just fine.

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