We have entered the Scorpio season, and Scorpio is all about obsession, and obsessive love…
Hello. I am a 25 year old woman dating a 18 year old guy (long distance). We have an obsessive relationship, and that’s a good thing.
In this post, I will talk about our daily life, habits, and share why our obsessiveness is a good thing. Enjoy.
Husband and Wife
We’ve called each other husband and wife since the start, because we’ve always intended to meet and get married IRL.
Even though our first marriages were in a game and on discord, it was with that mindset that we entered them. Well, perhaps not the discord one, in the very beginning, when we were just starting to get to know each other.
The daily life
Each day, we talk to each other for several hours, starting when he gets home from school (around 10 pm, for me), and ending whenever I go to bed (around 2-4 am, usually, but sometimes later).
A typical conversation between us includes talking about things that have happened during the day (my day, mostly — he’s more of a listener, and I rambler), things we want to do when we’re together IRL, and things that teen guys think about.
We remind each other of the exclusiveness of our love, by mentioning details such as the fact that we don’t talk to other people.
He also asks me if I’ve talked to other guys, sometimes, if I mention a situation where that could’ve been possible — I say I haven’t, because it’s true.
Our conversations aren’t that intense, but that is actually a good thing. It allows me to do other things while talking. Although, I do crave quite a lot of attention most of the time.
We have a private discord server for our daily love talk.
Unlike many long distance couples, we don’t cam, and we don’t really do any sexting either, even if our conversations do enter that realm quite often.
… is a thing he often says, and while he does know that I’m not a belonging, I secretly like it when he says that. It lets me know that he wants me that much, and for a person who used to fear abandonment, it is reassuring.
“I just want to be with you” / “I only want you”
… another thing he says … Again, reassuring.
It means that the only thing we really want and need is each other.
Ah, the sweetness of obsessive love — I’m obsessed, and so is he. Well, he says he is, but I haven’t actually entered his brain to check.
Being together is the most important thing for us, and I hope that it will stay that way when we are.
I’ve seen movies in which the couple encounter turbulence upon moving in together, but it is our intention to do our best not to let that happen.
Of course, our situation is a bit different — in the movies, they don’t usually move in with teenagers, and into their room at their parents’ place. I realize that it’s an odd situation, but I’ve never been normal.
“Do you think I’m crazy?”
… something I’ve asked him. A few times.
Most people would say I’m cool emotionally and have everything together, my family would say I have anger issues, but he says I’m perfect. Yes, that sounds like a typical ingredient in a warning signs list — I’ve read plenty of those — but we’re long distance, so he probably has a fantasy version of me, and hopefully the real me won’t shatter that image too much. Objectively speaking, I think I’m OK.
Having seen the best and the worst of me, he knows me better than anyone else, and he hasn’t left me. That’s pretty incredible, because that’s the opposite of my past experiences.
“Not allowed to talk to other guys”
While this sounds extreme, it’s actually not. He does say it, but I can — and have — talked to other guys, and told him. Sometimes just to make him jealous 😂 (which he knows, because I told him that too)
Me talking to other guys to make him jealous was in the beginning of our relationship, when I needed proof of his love, and I obviously don’t do it anymore (have grown up, feel secure about his love, etc).
Also, I feel the same way about him talking to other girls, which he knows, but we both don’t really talk that much to other people in general (super introverts?).
Either way, his possessiveness isn’t the bad kind.
“Take my babies”
I don’t think he necessarily want kids, but he has wanted to impregnate me since he was 15. Not 100% sure why, still, but I don’t mind.
Of course, he also knows that it’s my choice. A lot of the things in our relationship seem to be my choice, and that’s fine with me. I’ve always been a bit on the bossy side.
For while, he sort of managed to convince me about the babies. Or rather, it was probably something about that biological clock thing, but when it cooled down and I got second thoughts, he was fine with that.
After all this time (almost 2.5 years), I still think that our relationship is a bit of a miracle.
It has changed my life so much, for the better.
Before, I only had myself. There was no one I could rely on for emotional support, and I always kept everything inside. Of course, that created various problems, some of which I’m sure you can witness if you read this blog.
Nevertheless, he is the only one that I have been able to open myself up to. The only one who doesn’t come with meaningless advice or excessive empathy that makes me regret sharing in the first place — he just listens, and is there. All I need.
Sticking together no matter what
I believe that love is a decision, not just a thing that relies on emotions. And so, when I went into this relationship, it was with a decision to do it properly, and not give up for stupid reasons.
To this day, I’ve been able to do that, and so has he. Yes, there have been difficult times, but we always overcome them, without question.
My fear of abandonment was cured because of how determined we are to stay together — every single day. Yes, it took time, but good things are worth the wait.
Obsession can definitely work as a glue that keeps couples together. It’s often the secret of success in general.
Even if he sometimes seems distracted (like teen guys do), he does listen, and remembers the little things I say — sometimes even things I don’t remember myself.
It’s nice, and makes me happy.
Clingy and Needy to the MAX 💖
Because we’re both obsessed, I can unleash the full potential of my clingy and needy side — without complaints!
He likes it, and I can be myself.
Neediness and clinginess is often frowned upon, but I honestly don’t understand why. What’s wrong with expressing your love and affection?
In today’s society, we’re taught to be cool and ruthless when it comes to love and dating, but love isn’t cold and ruthless, or square for that matter…
… it’s round and soft and fluffy and deep …
… it’s dreamy and divine and tender …
I pretty much know his schedule, and he knows mine. When he goes somewhere, he tells me (unless he forgets). I never go anywhere during the time we talk, but if I did, I would tell him.
Mmmm… do we have jealousy?
Maybe. I don’t know.
In the past, yeah, there have been certain situations in which jealousy occurred, but not really to an extreme degree. Not in any way has it affected our relationship negatively.
As mentioned above, I’ve made him jealous on purpose. That was bad of me, I admit, but I think we both like when the other is jealous, because it shows that we care.
Based on fantasy? 🦄
Undeniably. But equally so on reality.
From a philosophical standpoint, life is based on fantasy. Everything we see is converted into whatever our own perceptions make out of it.
So, yes, our relationship is a fantasy. And it’s a really good one.
We started out in a game, then moved away from the game, eventually quitting it, and now we’re about to move away from the internet.
Even when we’re together in real life, I hope that we’ll maintain a level of fantasy in our relationship, because modern life certainly lacks that aspect.
We don’t need clear boundaries between dreams and reality. The things we don’t see or understand can be just as real. Our love isn’t a tangible object, and it’s not measurable, so there is nothing to say that it’s better or worse than reality based love, if such a thing exists.
I’ve been a girl/woman who has had at least one foot into the world of fantasy for all of her life, and the only negative impact it has on my life, is the fact that it gives me an inability to understand boring details of a normie’s everyday life (no offense, normies — we’re just different).
Are we controlling?
I wouldn’t say we are.
I do like to know where he’s going, and when, but not to be controlling. I just need to know what to expect. Don’t want to live with uncertainty.
Not that there is anything to control about my life, but he certainly isn’t, either. Yes, there are things he prefers me not doing, such as talking to other guys, but he hasn’t tried to forbid me or anything. Well, I would say I’m forbidden from cheating, but that’s just common sense…
💕 Endless Honeymoon 💕
We haven’t had our actual honeymoon yet, but I have a feeling we’ll never leave the honeymoon stage. Of course, I can’t treat my prediction of the future as a fact, but I’m pretty sure.
Why am I so sure?
Well, maybe the reason why we’re in this relationship.
It’s not because people are supposed to be in a relationship, nor is it to be co-dependent, even if I have a tendency to be that, and it’s also not a product of pure lust.
It’s simply because we very so drawn to each other. Like magnets, and like fated lovers in fiction — my life is half fiction, in a sense, so it’s not unusual for fiction-like things to happen to me.
We love each other. Typified as obsessive, fictional, real, deep or lustful — what counts in the end is our love. In the end it’s a connection. Affectionate, caring, and safe. Indeed, he makes me feel more safe than my blood family does, even if they mean well.
Whatever the shape of our love; the emotions and decisions involved, the result is a strong bond that is not likely to break.