This is the end, I said.
Last night in my dream, I wanted to jump out of an airplane. I had gotten on it voluntarily, knowing I would suffer. The particular suffering in the dream took the shape of motion sickness, but it could’ve been anything.
Some people from middle school were on the plane, and I sat next to them simply because they were familiar faces.
It was a while into the plane ride that I decided that this is enough; I didn’t want to be with these people nor on that plane. I wanted off, and seeking the exit, I said out loud: “This is the end”.
When I woke up, I was immediately concerned about my wellbeing – being suicidal in my dream? But upon closer examination, I realized that that’s not what it was at all.
What it really was, was me saying no to a path that I was merely taking out of convenience, just because it was there. The plane and the people were mere symbols. Toxic people for me to be around.
I said no, but I didn’t find an exit. What I found was a place at the back end, I think, with less people, and I know I was very resolute. Sure enough of wanting out that I was willing to jump out of an airplane!
This parallels with my real life, as I have recently made the decision to embark on a new path, a new journey for myself. You can read more about it here.
In my real life, I am equally determined. It’s scary, but jumping out is my only choice. It doesn’t matter if I was already on my way. It doesn’t matter that I had already paid for the ticket and invested in whatever I was doing. What matters is what I want and how I live my life from now on: with bravery, determination and no turning back (other than for reflection purposes).
Also, I started an Instagram to track my fitness and flexibility progress. @DreamyDuck77 if you’re interested.
This post could’ve been longer, but it’s very uncomfortable to type on phone, and I am very sugar loaded.