Not Going Smoothly 

Did I spend four hours learning about business, investment and finances yesterday? No, I did not. Am I going to do it today? Possibly. 

That’s not good enough. Effort needs to be taken every day, otherwise the unspent hours accumulate into a mountain of wasted time and a delayed end goal. Is that what I want? No! Then get it together, no matter what!

I’m lazy by nurture, but will quit using that as an excuse. What I need to do is to make things work for me – even my laziness. I need to come up with a foolproof system that makes it easy to complete this (and every other) task every day. After all, that’s the most sure way I’ll get it done.

Another thing I should do is set an objective for how many jobs I should apply for each day. Starting to feel like 0-1 isn’t enough. At least not if I want money soon.

I could go to the public employment office and get some easy money, but they would make me search for regular jobs all day long. I could use that time to apply for freelance jobs.

I gotta say, I don’t like the process of applying for any type of job, but it has to be done. Also going to try some teaching jobs. Swedish in particular, as it’s one of the only subjects I’m good at, and a lot of refugees need lessons.


Later in the day… 

I have now applied to about three more freelance jobs, with ridiculously low rates. Upwork seemed like a good place, but the more I browse, the lower the rates are. Companies are really taking advantage of freelancers, as is upwork – apparently, you need to use connects when you submit an application, and these connects cost. That’s in addition to them receiving a percentage of the pay you receive from the employer.

I’m talking 5 dollars for a 500 word article. It should be at least 50, according to the reasonable entry level pay per word I found on Google. 

Not sure what to do. Stay there and fight with other freelancers to be taken advantage of (basically the same thing as with real life jobs, but worse, because in real life I would get real money), or move on to something else (what?).

There’s also too many jobs I’m not qualified for. That’s not a problem, because I can learn, so I must remember not to be discouraged by it. Still, it’s not encouraging. 

The world is obsessed with money, and I get why. I just have to get to the other end of it.

My issue seems to always be about staying or leaving, no matter what it is. Literally haunting me. Do you have anything like that?

To be honest, I don’t even know if I’m a good writer. I’m not very sure about what my skills are, at all. Of course, I have asked friends and family what they think, but they don’t provide me with any useful information. Could be that I don’t have any skill, or that I haven’t found it. Why do I feel like it’s related to babies and being a housewife? Dear universe… but I suppose that’s fine. I mean, it would be perfect, if I could make money off something I love. (Might get back to this in another post).

This won’t do. I, Jocelin Dawn, will not be a slave for money. I do think minimal pay is modern slavery. So many can’t afford a life, let alone support others, even with good jobs. It’s heartbreaking and infuriating, and I don’t want to be part of that system.

No one should. It’s because people stay, that it can keep going. 

Yes, I know, people need money. Society is flawed in that way. But a lot of the time, people would have more money if they changed their lifestyles. At the same time, rich people might have less money. Consumers are literally giving money away to producers and sellers, when buying low quality products. High quality products is another thing, and should not be exclusively for the rich. They should be the norm.

The current norm of extremely low quality products is ridiculous. The refined and processed foods that are sold… it’s not human. 

I have lots more to say, but will not rant. I need to get back to those four hours I was supposed to complete. Really have been trying all day, but things keep getting in the way. In times like this, structuring my day differently would be beneficial, and I might try. Now, however, I will see if the “Fundamentals of Digital Marketing” course by Google is any good.

For you, here’s a cute duck video:

Jocelin Dawn 

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