Got a Job. Feel like Cinderella.

So I accepted a job at upwork. Extremely low paying. So far, I’ve earned about 16 dollars, in almost 2 hours. Mind, that is before upwork and taxes take their share, so I would end up with maybe 25% of that for myself.

I have to admit, my self confidence is plummeting because of this, and it doesn’t help that I’m turning into Cinderella at home.

My boots are not allowed to be indoors, so when it rained today, they were soaked. It wasn’t fun to use them. In the rain, getting my whole body soaked as well. But what can you do? Had to get the ducklings inside. Poor babies.

What should I do about my self confidence? I literally slapped myself in the face today, out of self-hatred.

Taking a job that pays this criminally low isn’t something I would advice anyone to do, even if they had my goals, which is buying stocks, supporting my ducks and saving money. No, I would be better off using the time to apply for better jobs.

I shouldn’t see it as giving up, if I quit. I simply don’t want to be taken advantage of that way.

It’s not lacking resilience, it’s having self-respect. But when you hate yourself, albeit temporarily, it’s hard to respect yourself.

I was going to use the hatred constructively, but even they didn’t really work. I feel absolutely miserable. I, Jocelin Dawn, have never been this miserable before.

Even if I know I will be successful, this is harsh. And this is not the right way.

Anyway, I will stop writing for the day, as I have a headache. Hopefully will elaborate on this tomorrow, I in the next few days. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, here’s my daily ducks:

Jocelin Dawn

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